


Not right now

by surefinewhateverr



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, One Shot, Sanvers - Freeform, kinda sad, let me know lol, maybe not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefinewhateverr/pseuds/surefinewhateverr
Summary: They're not on the same page, Maggie knows what she wants, Alex is curious about life after coming out.





	1. Chapter 1

Maggie doesn’t want to spend another night without her ever again. It is new. The relationship. She knows that. But God, this is the fifth time they had slept at her place, the third time they had had sex and it was just getting better and better, somehow. She knows this is Alex’s first real relationship but she is so ready to dive deep into it. She can see them together years from now, traveling, having crazy adventures saving the world, buying a house with an extra room for Kara and their baby. She wants that. With her. She does. 

But does Alex?

She doesn’t know. And she can’t ask. Not yet. 

“What’s up?” Alex asks leaning on her side to look at Maggie, who’s staring at the ceiling.

“Huh?” Maggie asks turning to her.

“You’re thinking. Hard. What is it?” 

“Oh… Nothing—it’s—it’s work.” Maggie puffs.

“Work? We have sex and the first thing you think about is work?” Alex giggles inching closer to Maggie to kiss her. 

“Yeah—sorry… Hey, do you wanna come over? To my place?”

“Now?”

“No—no, some other day.” Maggie says shaking her head.

“I’ve been to your place.” Alex remarks. She doesn’t seem annoyed, which weirds Maggie out even more. 

“I—I know, but I mean, for like—like a sleepover, you know…Like this, right now.”

“Oh—yeah, if your place ever seems more convinient, sure.” Alex shows a small smile before giving Maggie another quick peck and standing up from the bed to head to the bathroom. 

Maggie sighs. What does that even mean? They’ve been “officially” together for three months now, is Alex really not thinking further into the future? Is she going crazy by over thinking it?

Alex comes back from the bathroom and gets inside the covers again, hugging Maggie immediately, resting her head on Maggie’s chest.  
Maggie caresses Alex’s short hair, she slowly and gently paints imaginary drawings on her back. They both fall asleep almost immediately. 

Maggie wakes up sweating, with Alex trying to calm her down, having switched places with her, now hugging her. 

“Sssshhhh…” Alex whispers. “It was just a dream.” She sounds calm. But Maggie can feel her heartbeat pumping against her chest. She’s also scared. 

Maggie nods opening her eyes, passing her own hand through her forehead, wiping away her tears. She can’t even remember the dream. She sits up, pulling up her tank top to dry her sweaty face.

“I’m sorry.” Maggie says. 

“It’s okay. No need to be sorry.”

“This doesn’t usually happen when I’m—when I’m with someone.” Maggie turns to her bedside, as if she’s about to stand up, but she stays there, looking down at the floor. 

Alex doesn’t know what to do. She stares. Waiting for Maggie to say something, to do something.

“It’s—it’s almost 5 a.m, I should—I should go to work.” Alex says hesitating after waiting for a while. Maggie turns slightly and nods.

“Yeah…Yeah, I should go, too.”

“No—No, you can stay, I just—have an early call, DEO Monday meetings and stuff.” She chuckles awkwardly. “Just—close the door when you leave to work.”

Alex stands up from the bed, gets some clothes from her closet and closes the door to the bathroom. 

Maggie sighs. She wants to cry. She lays back down in the bed and closes her eyes. 

She pretends she’s asleep when Alex comes out of the bathroom. She feels her kiss her forehead and hears her close the front door. She keeps her eyes shut. But she can’t control the tears running down her face onto the pillow. She sniffs. She can’t cry in her girlfriend’s apartment just because she’s having doubts about their relationship, that’s just… sad. 

She stands up, dresses up, and checks her phone. It isn’t even Monday. She scoffs and leaves the apartment. 

 

\--

 

“We’re having a night in with everyone, you should come!” Alex says over the phone. 

“I…don’t feel like it, Alex. I told you I think I’m getting sick.” Maggie says. She’s on her way home from the precinct. It was a slow day so she had time to think about her problems and now she can’t handle having to socialize with Alex’s friends. They’re all very… energetic, and she doesn’t have it in her. Not tonight. 

“Please…? You’ve missed two game nights in a row…”

“Babe, I’m really sorry but I just—I wanna stay in bed tonight.” 

“Fine… But just so you know, next time you’re going to have to bring extra potstickers for Kara cause… she’s gonna be pissed…” Alex chuckles. 

“I don’t think she’ll care but… tell her I’m sorry.” Maggie says. She’s almost at her apartment. “Have fun tonight, okay?”

“If you wanna come just call me and we’ll pick you up?”

“Sure.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She hears the beep. She sighs.

Maybe it’s just a bad day. Maybe it will get better tomorrow. Or next week. But she can’t help but think about it. They’re not in the same place. Alex didn’t even offer to stay with her. The few nights off they both have at the same time… and she doesn’t want to spend it with her. Even if it’s just laying on the couch and watching a movie. 

She takes her keys out of her pocket and opens the door to her apartment. She doesn’t bother turning on the lights. Decides she’ll skip dinner tonight. She heads to bed, taking off her jeans and jacket and top off before getting inside the covers. She puts her phone to charge on her bedside and notices a text from Alex.

“Feel better soon” it reads with a kiss emoji. Cool. At least she cares. Somewhat. 

She tries to fall asleep but fails. After two hours of tossing and turning she decides to get up. She can’t be this miserable when she could be having fun with her relatively new friends. 

She doesn’t text Alex saying that she’s coming over to Kara’s, decides to just take an uber there. 

She knocks on the door, potstickers in hand, greeted by a very smiley and surprised Kara. 

“Maggie!!!” She says reaching for a hug and then immediately taking the brown bag from her hand to take it to the kitchen. “We’re playing monopoly, Winn already got mad at me but I think Alex is gonna do him dirty so I’m good.” She laughs. 

Maggie laughs with her already imagining the scenario in her head. She walks over to the living room and sees Alex sitting on the couch with her back to her, next to… another woman—girl—woman? She’s probably her age. But she’s laughing way too hard at something Alex just said, and Maggie’s eyes roam directly to Alex’s knee. Where the other woman’s hand is placed, and Alex is not doing anything about it. 

James notices the new visitor and opens his arms to welcome her.

“Maggie!!” He says standing up from the floor, followed by Winn. Maggie finds herself in a group hug with the guys, whose breath smells like beer. 

“You guys having fun?” Maggie asks when they both get back to their places on the floor. It’s a rhetorical question so she doesn’t expect them to answer, and they don’t. The newest, newer than herself, addition to the group just made a move that made everyone angry, except Alex, who is looking at her from the couch. “Can I talk to you?” Maggie asks, quickly scanning her now hand-free knee.

“Maggie! This is Lucy Lane.” Kara interrupts from behind her before Alex can say anything. “Lucy!” She calls out her name. The gorgeous brunette turns to look at Kara and then notices Maggie. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, hi! I’m Lucy.” Lucy stands up from the couch, brushing Alex’s legs on her way to Maggie, which makes Maggie’s blood boil in anger, but as the good detective she is, her face doesn’t show any emotion. 

“Maggie.” Maggie smiles shaking her hand and nodding. She takes a quick look around before getting back to Lucy’s undoubtibly beautiful smile. “I know I’m late to the party… I thought today was Mario Kart night.”

“Oh! We canceled that.” Kara says popping into the conversation between them. “Lucy hurt her hand today at work so… we changed plans, but we can do Mario Kart next week!” 

“Oh, where do you work? What happened?” Maggie asks looking down and noticing Lucy’s bandaged hand, the other hand, though, the one that was on Alex’s knee, is impeccable. Kara quietly steps aside to go back to the game to shout at James some more.

“Military base, but it was stupid really, I was helping an officer move some arms and yeah…” She shakes her head at her stupidity but smiles again wanting to change the topic. “How do you know Kara?”

“Oh, I actually knew Alex before I knew Kara.” Maggie responds dryly. “Which by the way…” She takes a step to the left to catch Alex’s attention. “Alex?” She seems very into the game but she knows she’s been listening to the conversation the entire time. Alex turns to look at them and sees Maggie’s face. Right. She wanted to talk. And it wasn’t going to be good.

“Excuse me.” Maggie apologizes to Lucy before heading to the kitchen to wait for Alex.

“What’s up.” Alex asks nonchalantly once she catches up with her. 

“What’s up?” Maggie asks. “Are—are we okay?”

“Yes—yeah, of course we are—“

“Alex don’t give me that bullshit.” Maggie shifts from one foot to the other, crossing her arms on beneath her chest. “I come here to maybe give you a nice little surprise, and I find you flirting with another girl and—“

“It wasn’t—“

“What it looked like? With her hand on your knee? Laughing at your jokes? Were you even planning on mentioning me at some point in the evening?” Her voice is getting too loud so she tries to control herself. Alex looks nervous. Also shifting from one foot to the other, fixing a strand of hair that keeps getting on her face. Something Maggie would help with, under normal circumstances. 

“Mags I swear I don’t know what that was, but it isn’t that—I—I honestly don’t get any gay… vibes from her.” Alex shrugs. And Maggie scoffs at that. 

“Ha.” She says with a puff of air. “Okay. So that was just, friendly touching.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go.” Maggie says fixing her jacket, taking out her phone out of her front pocket to check the time. “Whenever you feel guilty? Whenever you really wanna be honest with me? Just call me. Ask me for some time apart. I will give it to you, Alex. Hell, I’ll give it to you now.” She turns and walks over to the door, closing it behind her. Alex stares at it for a few seconds, before noticing how everyone behind her had gone silent.

“I’ll be right back.” She goes after Maggie, taking her jacket from the hanger. 

She’s already out in the street.

“Maggie!” Alex shouts. And Maggie stops in her tracks, turning around. Alex catches up with her. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Is that it?”

“No—No, I freaked out. Yes. I admit I was flirting back. But—it was—I was just getting the feeling that you wanted this to get so serious and—“

“It’s too soon?”

“I don’t know.” Alex lets out a breath. “I’m—I’m curious. About other women.”

“I get it. You wanted a nice, chill, coming out story? Well, you got one. Now we can both move on—or –whatever.”

“Maggie, that’s not—“

“That’s not what. It’s okay. I get it. You wanna try new stuff. Just—I just wish you could have been more honest. I fucking hate being the jealous girlfriend. I hate it.” There’s a pregnant pause after the statement. Maggie watches Alex biting her lip and scoffs. “Are you…? Are you giving me bedroom eyes, Danvers?” Alex doesn’t answer, she just keeps looking at Maggie’s eyes, wanting her to make the next move. “Just this once. This argument isn’t over.”

Maggie takes Alex by her arm and they get in the first taxi they see. 

 

\--

“That was hot.” Alex whispers out of breath.

It was hot. It was the hottest sex Maggie has had in a long time. And she hates that it was powered by jealousy. 

Hers. She wanted Alex to be hers. 

“Mine.” She whispered over and over again. 

But they want different things. The discussion isn’t over yet. Maggie sits up on the bed, her bed. Finally. 

“I don’t want to have an open relationhip, and I feel like you… need to be in an open relationship right now. With no strings attached.”

“But I love this. What we have.”

“Oh come on… we’re both so busy… we see each other maybe once or twice a week. Three times if we’re lucky—“

“So, what?” Alex sits up stretching to get her tank top from the floor and put it on. 

“So… you want more. I know you do. You are attractive, Alex. Girls are gonna come onto you wherever you go and you’re going to be tempted everyday. And I’d just—I’d get too jealous for my own liking.” Maggie chuckles. “That Lucy was all over you.”

“Well… too bad.”

“Why? You should go for it. I’m letting you go, Alex.” Maggie says forcing a smile. “You should have the full lesbian experience. Getting your heart broken and helping younger girls figure out their sexuality.” They both laugh at that. They fall into silence. Alex sighs and looks at Maggie. 

“What about you?” She asks. 

“Me?” Maggie shrugs. “I want to get a house. I want a dog. I—I want to be Captain.” She looks down at her hands. “I want you to be happy. That’s all that matters right now.”

“I want you to be happy, too.” Maggie looks up at her again.

“Well, if in a while we find ourselves in a different place, we could give it another try.” 

Alex opens her arms and pulls Maggie into a tight hug. 

“Thank you.” Alex says. “For everything.” 

Maggie closes her eyes and breathes her in. 

“Always.”


	2. Part two

5 years later

 

She hasn’t come to this bar since she and Alex broke up. She hasn’t wanted to come. But she needed a drink and this was the closest place to get it from her new apartment. What she doesn’t expect though, it’s to hear that voice. Her laugh. Everything around her stops. She doesn’t dare to turn around and see for herself that yes, it is in fact, Alex Danvers. She doesn’t have to turn around. Because after minutes of listening to her voice laughing and talking, and thinking of their relationship while she gupls down her glass of whiskey, she feels a tap in her shoulder. 

“Sawyer?” Alex’s voice makes her turn slightly to see her face. She’s beautiful. She has a smile on her face, like she imagined, she has a couple of wrinkles that she already loves… Damn. The love of her life really is perfect. 

“Danvers!” She says standing from her stool, stumbling a little, wow, she didn’t think she had that much to drink. They hug for a second before Maggie offers Alex the seat next to her. 

“How have you been? How’s work at the… FBI do I wanna say?” Alex asks.

“Yeah! FBI going strong, just got promoted last month.” Maggie smiles taking one last sip from her drink and gesturing the bartender to get her another one. Making it two. 

“Celebrating?” 

“Oh no—well, yeah.” Maggie chuckles. “I just got a new apartment, near here, so I guess I’m celebrating that…” The bartender gives them their drinks and Alex mouths a thank you before taking a sip. No ring on her finger. “But how are you? What’s up with the DEO’s best agent?” Maggie teases making Alex laugh softly.

“I’m—I’m good, too. Yeah.” She nods. “Kara just got back from her year long trip around the world—“

“Oh! Yeah! I heard about that! That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, she did so well, we’re all very proud. We’re also very glad she’s back, though.” She chuckles. “It was really intense when she was gone.”

“Yeah, we noticed too, though, for the majority of last year I was sent to Washington so I didn’t get the chance to work on National City cases…” 

“So… You’re back?” Alex asks curious.

“Yeah, with the promotion, now I get to work all cases from around the state from my office.” Maggie nods proudly. They fall into a comfortable silence for a moment. Maggie can’t stop staring at Alex’s face, she doesn’t know why. “I’m glad you’re okay, Alex.” 

“I’m glad you’re okay, too.” Alex answers with a smile. 

“I’m—I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re here with someone—“ Maggie says readjusting herself on the stool. 

“Oh no, no, just—friends from work, don’t worry about it. Closed a pretty big case today.”

“Congratulations.” Maggie tells her taking a sip, Alex copies her. 

“So…” Alex starts. 

“Are you… Sorry if this is too much but—would you—“ Maggie tries to get it out but her mind isn’t clear. She isn’t thinking. She’s—

“I’m free every Tuesday.” Alex says cutting her off, knowing where she was going with her sentence. 

“Oh. Today’s Monday, right?” Maggie asks. 

“Yeah, so…”

“Do you wanna meet up then? Tomorrow?” Maggie asks now hopeful.

“Yes, that would be great.” Alex answers. 

They’re both smiling like idiots. They fall into an easy conversation. They talk about these five years that they’ve been absent from each other’s lives. Alex’s coworkers start leaving after quickly introducing themselves to Maggie. The bar clears out. They decide to walk to Maggie’s apartment. 

“You need a ride?” Maggie asks when they stop in front of her building. 

“No, no, I can just walk to Kara’s from here.” She smiles grateful for the offer. 

“See you tomorrow, then?” Maggie asks.

“See you tomorrow.” Alex nods. 

 

\--

 

Alex doesn’t sleep. She stays up all night talking with Kara on her bed. 

“I—I didn’ think I would ever see her again.” 

“So do you think you’re ready? For a relationship?” Kara asks. 

“I mean, it’s been a year, so, yes. But maybe she has a girlfriend or—or even a wife!” Alex says. Her heart is going a hundred miles per hour, she thought she wouldn’t get this feeling again. This feeling of… love.

“Did you see if she had a ring?”

“No—no, but maybe she’s one of those that puts their ring on a necklace? She just wants to catch up I’m sure—tomorrow she’ll tell me all about her married life and—and how cute her kid is and—I bet she’ll show me a picture of her family—“

“Alex, breathe.” Kara tries to calm her down. 

“I can’t.” Alex says. “I can’t breathe, Kara.” She’s about to cry. “I fucked it up when we were together—“

“You didn’t screw up, Alex. You guys were in different places. It may have changed now.”

“But I’m old. And she’s so pretty. There’s no way—“

“You’re pretty, too.” Kara chuckles. “You guys are both badasses. Just like you are busy with your job, so is she. Imagine, if you couldn’t find someone who could keep up with your lifestyle, do you think she could?” And that has Alex shrugging. 

The sun is rising and Alex is laying still on her bed, she turns to look at Kara who has her eyes closed. 

“I’m gonna text her.” Alex says sitting up and reaching for her phone on the bedside table. 

“It’s—like 5 a.m, Alex.” Kara tells her without opening her eyes.

“Sent.” Alex says throwing the phone back to the table. 

“What did you say?”

“If the usual place was a good place to meet up.”

“Oh, that’s not too bad. Well done—“

Alex’s phone lights up. She reads the text.

“She said yes. She’s awake.” Alex stands up from the bed. “I’m gonna go.”

“Now?” Kara asks sitting up and opening her eyes. 

“Yeah. I’ll just get coffee and wait for her there.” There’s a pause and a shrug from Kara.

“I believe in you, Alex. Go get the love of your life. I hear sirens.”

“You go save National City.”

 

\--

 

She waits. It’s 6 a.m and they just opened the café. She gets her iced latte and sits by the huge windows looking at the pink sky. She waits. But she doesn’t wait long.

“Alex.” Maggie appears behind her, touching her shoulder in her way. Alex stands up to give her a kiss on the cheek and let her sit in front of her. 

“Hey. It’s so early.”

“Yeah, well, I was already awake and I have to go in at 2 p.m if not earlier so…”

“I missed you.” Alex says before she can stop herself. 

“I—I missed you too.” Maggie chuckles slightly, looking down at her hands. 

“Do you—Do you want coffee?” Alex says gesturing to the waitress to get her another iced latte.

“Thanks.”

They don’t talk as much as they talked the night before. It’s hard to find topics to talk about while avoiding topics from their personal lives. Maggie decides to take one for the team and talk about the elephant in the room. 

“So… Are you seeing anyone?” It takes Alex by surprise. But she’s glad she’s asked. 

“Nope. You?” 

“Nu-huh.” Maggie says shaking her head while biting her lip. Alex stares at her lips. And she stares and stares. And she smiles. She looks at Maggie’s eyes. And Maggie also smiles. 

They are ready to dive into this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thaaank you for reading!!!!! Even if you hate it!!! lol Nice comments appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments appreciated!


End file.
